Cry
by Vals
Summary: Jack thinks about everything he has been through


Title: Cry  
  
Author: Val  
  
E-mail: Candygurl59@aol.com  
  
Feedback: suuure!  
  
Distribution: Just make sure you let me know first  
  
Rating: G  
  
Summery: Jack thinks about everything he has been through  
  
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, and neither is the show.  
  
Classification: Angst  
  
POV: Jack  
  
Note: I've never done anything like this and I'm not sure what I think about it. would greatly appreciate your opinions!  
  
* Cry *  
  
  
  
There is a time in everyone's life when everything you have worked so hard for dies; when everything you have struggled to maintain fades away. You think things can never get worse, yet things do, they escalate into worse than you could ever imagine, leaving you alone and broken; unable to regain everything you have lost.  
  
The person you care for is lying to you; when they won't look you in the eye, you know something is wrong. When they will do anything to abstain from talking to you and lie to others about it, you feel the pain. Your whole body feels sore, inside and out. The person who was always there for you, who you could always talk to, now isn't there.  
  
You feel cold all over. When someone you care about so much has left you it feels like there's nothing you can do. You feel empty without them. You feel no reason to live. Chills run down you spine and goose bumps cover your body. You don't know what to do. You feel lost; like a child who has lost their favorite toy.  
  
And the only thing you can do, the only thing you can think to do, is try not to crying. But you can't. You break, and after the first tear falls another follows, running down your face silently as you choke back a sob. You try to be strong.  
  
The only thing you want now is to get them back. To tell them that you love them, to forgive them for what they have done. You are willing to give everything to be with them again.  
  
No matter what happens, you can't stop loving them. The vague feeling inside you stays with you, keeping you awake at night and distracted during the day. Everything goes by slowly as your world crumbles around you. Memories are lost, hearts are broken, tears do fall, and there's nothing you can do to stop it.  
  
This is how I felt the day I lost her. The day I found out what her values really were. The day I found out our love was a lie. The day my image of Laura was destroyed. The day my world was first shattered brutally, as if someone had taken a bat and smashed it against everything I had made for myself. I still call her Laura; to me she will always be Laura Bristow. The Laura Bristow who I loved with all my heart.  
  
Slowly, you become stronger, you begin to move on. Gluing your world back together, piece-by-piece and day-by-day. Every day it seems harder, but you don't give up. You keep at it, knowing that someday it will all pay off. And then suddenly, everything changes; your world swings around and out of your control again.  
  
Even though I try to hide it, I still love her. It hurts me and it haunts me, but I can't stop loving her. Plaguing me with feelings I keep shut inside as they struggle to get out. I was recovering; I had rebuilt my world again, and then she showed up. Out of nowhere she appeared back in my life, her sudden reappearance once again shattering my world and leaving me in despair. I wouldn't let her hurt our daughter -- my daughter -- again.  
  
Now, she says she wants to repay her debt; she wants to cooperate. Sydney is fooled; she will be broken like I was if I don't stop this. I build up all my courage and when I look at her face again, when I look into her eyes again for the first time in twenty years, she tells me how she feels; how she felt, and the only thing that comes out are harsh words, only making things worse. My world is spinning around me as I try to take control over it. I must do something before it get out of my hands, out of my control.  
  
I am trying to be strong. And I am failing. As my arms are wrapped around my daughter, all of these feelings I have been denying inside come rushing out; I can't keep them in anymore. I had taken desperate actions; I had spoken desperate words. My judgment had been clouded by these strong feelings rising to the surface again, tearing me apart. But now, it is too late, what is done; there is nothing I can do to change it.  
  
I close me eyes and hold Sydney tight against my chest. I bury my face deep in her hair and rock her back and forth. Everything I felt before is coming back again, and now, the only thing I can do once again is cry. * The End * 


End file.
